Berries and Fences

By: David F. Bunting

I live in this old seaside town in England and it has so many charms. From antique shops to fun cafes and even a record shop or two to the coast itself, I am in constant awe of how different life is here from my life in Florida. I’m just glad I have a local coffee shop that I love (Where most of this post is being thrown together).

In England, people walk everywhere… Although it's normal for Americans to drive a mile up the road, most of the world walks. There is some sort of poetic beauty there, but I digress. I have found that I, too, enjoy walking everywhere. rambling here and there has become somewhat of a passion… getting out of bed, getting dressed, packing a simple bag, and just seeing where I wind up. If it weren’t for my master’s program and the other responsibilities that hold me back, I would probably end up in some remote corner of the UK standing in some beautiful ruin and imagining what life would be like in a bygone era.  

Everywhere I look there is something new to see. I dabble, emphasis on dabble, in photography, and it is on these walks that I get my best shots. Birds, flowers, the sky, and random fields are usually my subjects, but for some reason I stopped and pondered in an alleyway on  the way home from one of my outings. I am not currently working full time, so I have had a bit more freedom to wander to and fro without much thought. I was walking, thinking deeply about a job I had just applied for, and not paying much attention (May or may not have been because of Pokémon go). A low hanging vine whacked me in the face, needless to say, it hurt… thorns… lots of them. I almost fell over from the recoil but recovered somewhat gracefully. I looked around and for the first time in a few weeks saw the alleyway for what it was. The alleyway in question connects… let me explain the difference in vernacular for readers who have never been to the UK. Alleyways are not always dark and depressing here, they can be nice places to walk and are usually filled with green things or even have overhanging trees and wildflowers. They are extremely useful here and can even help to make a journey both shorter and more interesting. You also usually run into people on their way home from the grocery store or some other errant or erroneous errand. Now back to the point… The alleyway in question connects a street near to where I live to a few backroads in town near the town centre. It has always been a bit overgrown, but I’ve never seen it quite so green. According to my mother-in-law, the town council, much like a city council in the United States, has been attempting to cut back on cutting down wild grasses and plants to help save the local bee population and conserve money. It is a long and narrow alleyway and when traveling from home to town it is a slight downhill walk, the opposite on the way home (If I choose to go that route, I like to take the scenic route along the coast home, but more on that later). To the left is a chain link fence with an empty plot of land beyond and to the right a wall of twisted vines and other vegetation that is on a mission to reach the sky and engulf the fence they sit on and sidewalk below.

When I was whacked in the face by this thorny branch, I quickly realized what kind of plants these prickly growths were. There were hundreds of wild raspberries or blackberries. I used to get yelled at by my Aunt Mary for picking too many raspberries off the bush to snack on when playing hide and seek with my cousins so… I know a raspberry bush when I see one. This little incident really got me thinking, not of the seemingly countless jobs I had applied for, not on how hungry I was, but on change and the things that stop us from growing. These raspberry vines and other plants stretching their leaves to the sky, in all reality, probably don’t belong in that little alleyway to town, but here they are despite it all growing and producing fruit.

I am not normally this reflective, but after going through so much change in my own life, it makes a lot of sense to compare these plants to life. After a very interesting childhood of being bullied, developing diabetes, figuring out my sexuality, and going to university, starting a masters program, and many other adventures of self discovery in between, I have now chosen more change by immigrating from the home I have known for twenty-five years and coming here to live with my husband of just over a year. To answer your questions, yes… it is scary. Yes, it is challenging. Yes, I do miss home everyday. Yes, I want to give up some days and just lay in bed and forget the world around me. But the good news is that I am quickly coming to understand that the stability we all crave is never an absolute… seasons change, people change, we all face change. So why not go out and seize it? Most of you would probably say something along the lines of “easier said than done, David!” or “I’m just too tired!” Trust me… I get it. But if this twenty-five year old can impart any life-giving wisdom here, it would be this, change and growth is inevitable. We are like plants or berry bushes in this regard. We have to grow. We have to take up space. And…if the season is right, we will produce fruit. 

I can say that I have had my fair share of ups and downs attempting to grasp this concept of growth, but I can say that it is getting easier with time. I think the secret is to understand it is that not everyday is going to be earth shattering or fruit bearing (attempting to stick to the theme here). Just yesterday I laid in bed instead of writing a paper that is now past due… ohh well. I’ll get to it.  I have to, I don’t have a choice, I have to tackle this paper if I want to achieve my goals. Regardless, mistakes happen, we learn and move on. In other words, we must keep growing and face the sun or we will starve.We have to do the hard things just like plants have to photosynthesize and reach up towards the sun. Our souls are important and those curious things need to be nurtured just like our physical bodies. Clearly I needed that time in the quiet so I can continue to work towards my goals and I took it. Some might view that as laziness, but I would combat that sentiment by simply stating that what we do to climb the fences we must in life is our business. There is an old quote by Zen Shin that I adore that sums up the point I am attempting to make rather beautifully, “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

So, I leave you with this last thought before I get too rambly or personal (might be too late for that). Go out and do something to climb the metaphorical fences in your life, even if it is a tiny step towards the sun. Even if you fail, or find yourself in a frozen season, it’s okay, wake up tomorrow and try again. The only direction is up.  Now to tackle that overdue paper!

Keep dreaming, stay weird, and find funny shapes in the clouds!

All the best from your American abroad,

David